2 things I have noticed about myself recently.

1. My eyebrows grow really quick.

2. My brain has felt a little disjointed when it comes to making decisions recently.

For example, I have wanted to write a blog for so long now but I’ve really felt like no inclination to actually start doing it. And I’ve also been like “ugh what will I actually write about though?” I’ve felt like life is kind of whizzing by and I’m not really sure where to even start when it comes to writing all this stuff down. I’ve still been keeping a diary. Last year my diary is up there with lord of the rings. This year it’s been more, sitting on a plane, scrambling it all down because I feel like I have to and I don’t really have the time to do it because being on a plane is when I get to shut my eyes and I don’t have to talk to anyone.

Anyway, I have come to realise that these things are good things. My eyebrows are well on the way to frida style vibes which is OK with me. Plus it shows healthy hair growth. Both great things. And being busy means I am working, ddduuuhrrrr, woohooo!

So I’m just gonna bite the bullet and ramble for while, hopefully we can call it a blog at the end. k?

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I just got home from a sold out US East Coast Tour! I am bloody exhausted, it was early mornings, long drives in the van arriving at the venue feeling like it was the next day, staying in super 8 motels! (and i thought travelodge had some mysterious stains). It was FREEEEEZING! lots of snow, spring only made an appearance in DC. I have just sat here in bed this afternoon feeling like someone has put a load of bricks all over my body for a laugh and in awe of a bright blue sky that I haven’t seen in weeks! It was fucking awesome. I love tour. I love it, I really do. It does all this crazy stuff to your body and it can be so hard and emotional. Like I always need a couple of days just not getting out of bed when I’m home… but I love it.

I love the feeling of being a nomad, just moving from city to city with a gang and the feeling you get when you’ve left that city, especially selling it out and playing a good show, is such an achievement. I loved spending time with supercute and driving round America in a van, really getting to see it, even when it’s just the same long road. I’d be freaking out over the most mundane shit, it’s just different to the mundane shit I’ve seen my whole life in England and that excites me for some reason. I daydream about what is going on inside those homes and towns.

Plus the tour sold out! It felt so nice to be so supported on this record and in HAMERICA by so many lovely people. And as if that’s not enough I love cheetos crunchy style. So Thank u America. But thank u life they are not sold everywhere in the UK. My brain battles their nuclear colour, like “this is not food, computer says no” Sorry brain for digesting so many of those on tour. But now I am safe in the UK. Hoola Hoops my brain has less trouble accepting.

Highlights, Boston! My friend Jeff flew out from LA and surprised us with our friends Alyson, Jake and Christina! It kickstarted the tour and made it a party straight away instead of like a warm up show. He moshed all the way through and scared some teenagers, it was awesome.

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Millvale, never visited before, the mr.smalls theatre was a beautiful old haunted church! With a big old apartment above the church for the dressing room. The crowd were ballzy. And we partied in a dive bar after and everyone on tour bonded.

Here’s Chris my tech & I bonding/moshing!

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Chicago I met up with my friend Aram, who directed my videos in LA and I saw a cut of “Sister” and “oh” !!! AND HE WORE UGGS!

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In Washington DC we stayed with Linda my guitarists (host) family who have basically become real family. We got a home cooked meal and a bucket full of gin!

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YES LITERALLY A BUCKET!…there was home videos that moved swiftly into us all watching dirty dancing in PJ’S, her (host) mum’s favourite movie. There were little bits of this delicious cheese left out that I accidentally ate all of, and then found out had actually been meant for the salad, slightly embarrassing. Oh ps they had a DOG! We got brunch the next day and Spring showed face! and we went onto the roof of her brothers apartment and drank beer. After the show I played dirty dancing and best moment of my life did…”the lift” into the crowd and crowd surfed to the rest of the song.

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HUGHESY & I got spiritual

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We finished the tour in NY which is always madness cause there are so many opportunities and things happening in NY. This is my OMFG I have so much work to do HELP ME face in NY

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I was actually pretty nervous being there as I’d had a bad experience and had some kind of let’s say ‘bad juju’ in the city. But I got to reclaim the city this trip. You know when you get reminded that something is yours too? That you deserve to have fun there and the city deserves not to be overcast with shadow? I made a new BFF who when I posted a picture of on instagram my BFF in LA was like “what?! colby??! are you 2 hangin out?!” and turns out they went to school together! He is kinda of a bad bitch and bought me a beautiful and delicate gold necklace that has “kiss me where i pee” daintily engraved on it.

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I played 3 sold out shows, bowery ballroom…(dance party in the crowd at bowery)…

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webster hall that was streamed live for MTV! My friend Michael Dubin took some photos of that and he sent me this sneak peak!

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@michaeldubin

…and music hall of williamsburg which I have an excellent video of me coming out of my suitcase after the show where I’m channeling ariel coming out of her shell in the little mermaid (which actually she never does but whatevs, she shoulda). We partied at ACME studios which has crazy props everywhere and Tina Tractenburg made the best QUESO and bean dip and we snacked and drank and danced. Mainly danced.

Here’s before & after the show shots, spot the difference

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WHATEVA ABOUT IT!

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I was swung around in the air by a big strong man and it’s the first time I’ve ever longed for that to be the main thing that happens in my future. The big strong man was one half of my favourite couple…

…my friends Nicholas and Casey. That are probably the most beautiful specimens on this planet. A gay couple, so handsome you want to poke your eyes out so you can go back to real life unless you can stare at them for eternity and then that would be fine, one works at moma, one for a non profit, they throw surprise birthday parties for each other like “we went up to his parents in connecticut, rented a giant cupcake shaped bouncy castle and a ben and jerry’s ice cream truck and it was strawberry shortcake themed”. GAH! whaaaaat??! Perfection. We had gay easter brunch and drank champagne all day. We stopped for a coffee and casually Nicholas pulls out a tub of Martha Swewart style cocunut with salted caramel centre cookies that he baked the night before. WHHHHAAAAAT?! obsessed. Then we went shopping at forever 21, hit a dive gay bar with a jukebox, drank Honey Whiskey straight (my new favourite drink, the only way to drink it) and finished off in a mexican restaurant drinking “mama” sized margharitas, (they came in baby, papa, and mama, mama being the largest of course)

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I also put on an event at the Norwood called “Girl Talk Girl Rising”. We invited a bunch of press over to talk about the record, to talk about my work with Plan USA and the “Protect A Girl” Campaign (protectagirl.org) and we also screened a section of the Girl Rising documentary. (amazing documentary made by 10×10 about girls all over the world and their struggle). Actresses read for the girls including chloe moretz, meryl streep, selena gomez, anne hathaway, alicia keys. And it presents the girls as superheroes not victims. The story we screened was the story of a girl from egypt who is part of a Plan programme there. Very inspiring.

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Oh aaaaaand I performed with Watsky! 

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He was in town at the Irving Plaza and the timing just worked out so we sang Hey Asshole together. His live show was sick! And all his friends and crew were awesome and we all danced to the spice girls after the show. Well Colby & I did anyway. Then I inhaled two slices of pizza on the way home before colby even finished one. And I was trying to chat someone up to steal their slice for an impressive 3rd! but they told me they had had a shitty day so I decided it unfair to steal their pizza and said goodnight.

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@colbymakeup

So that’s the end of my ramblings about tour and what I am going to call a long ass blog. I watched the final twilight on the plane home and just after that dude in the red cloak decapitates the dad my tv screen shut off and we landed in heathrow. I was all pumped up and shocked and excited! So I really need to finish that, I have it cued up and everything. I will leave you with a picture of these incredible Chanel shoes I got to wear in a photoshoot.

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oh and p.s here’s my new boyf. his name is predator and if you are mean to me he will kill you

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TOUR / GIRL GANG 4 LYFE

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later dudez…UK LOOK OUT I’M COMIN FOR YAAAAAAA BITCHEZZ! WOOO <3

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BAI