No seriously, how?
I’ve like totally forgotten. Last night I was out with some friends in Brooklyn and just as all of my friends had all disappeared I was standing behind the bar changing one of the songs on the ipod, the dude who owned it had let us pick the music for a bit, and this long blonde haired guy who was sitting at the bar was like ‘get me a beer’ and i was like ‘*silence* (thinking ermm)*’ and he’s like ‘get me a beer’ and i look around for my friends who I realise have gone to buy cigarettes at that exact moment. And the guy continues to be super aggressive and bitchy about his beer and he’s like “get the fuck away from behind the bar if you’re not gonna get me a beer” and then the guy who owns the bar suddenly turns on me too and is like “just move out the way” and I’m like feeling super stupid and alone and this blonde dude just starts ripping into me for no reason and giving me shit and being really macho and mean and I have no idea what to say. And I felt so weird when it was happening because I swear I usually know exactly what to say in this situation. Or when it’s happening to my friends I know exactly how to defend them. But when you’re standing there on your own it’s totally different. Like usually when someone tries to help you you’re all like ‘it’s ok I got this’ but when you look around and no-one’s there you’re all speechless. I came up with the lamest comeback, actually so lame I can’t even use it now, and when it comes to lame stuff and embarrassment you know I’m a pro and super open about it, so you know it must have been like seriously lame. So I stood there feeling like I was in a movie. Like this…
When really I wanted to feel like this…
Anyway it just makes you realise how important your friends are and the people that you love and that love you are. You just feel better when you have them there. And you take it for granted when someone tries to help you out cause usually you’re like ‘I can take care of myself’ but when everyone’s gone to buy cigarettes and your real best buds aren’t there and you are left taking care of yourself sometimes your legs just go all wobbly and all you have is “ermm”.
It sucks.
So yeah, friends, they’re good. Don’t take ’em for granted. Cause they’re the ones that deal with A Holes in bars, even when you don’t realise and you think you’re doing it yourself. The fact that they’re there is the reason you feel so tough and brave in the first place.
6 Comments
I totally understand this! I have the biggest mouth when It comes to defending my friends but I have little or no idea how to defend myself or handle aggression from people I don’t know. My friends are normally crazy protective of me too, I get a lot of shit for being a 6’5″ borderline transvestite and it is terrifying when they’re not there when you’re being confronted by people who’re probably to socially baron to behave like normal human beings. I’d like to think I’m a brave person though, even if it’s my friends who make me feel brave.
And I can’t believe someone would be so horrible to you Kate! You were the kindest most amazing person when I met the few times I have. You didn’t deserve that at all! Xx
The problem is that is só difficult to have truly friends. In all my life (21) I’ve just got one friend I can really trust for everything. Using a metafora, the others were buy cigarettes and they never ever came back.
Sorry for my terrible english.
But is awful – even If a have a good and real friend – I’m feeling alone mostly of time. I wish it could be different.
That’s so true…you feel alone and helpless without your friends around. And next time i will come and defend you! I promise 😀
Welcome to my world, Kate. Or rather, I should say, ‘Hi, It’s lovely having you here, but get the hell out while you can!’
The thing with my social phobia is that it’s very, very hard to make friends. I don’t really have any to be honest. None that I could go out to a gig with or the theatre or anything.
I deal with A holes in two ways. Incredibly meekly, like in your story above, or very aggressively. There is no gray area in between. Occasionally I’ll have my brother with me who will either back me up or calm me down whichever is necessary. But having no friends is awful, so make sure you keep them, Kate.
Robert xx
I almost wish this was unbelievable — still surprised (you’re KN!)l but also not — where were they? So thanks for reminding us of the value of friends by your side, and the drag of d*********.
Sorry this is dumb and everyone’s commenting about like “a holes” and such but like the fact that Milo and Otis had a spot in this post was really cool, to me i guess. So yeah Milo and Otis all the way man.
On a serious note, I get a little shy when random strangers give me shit too. Like the other day, I was at this restuarant and i was applying condiments to my veggie burger and out of nowhere this old man comes up and yells at me. One of the condiments was apricot-flavored mustard and i was, at the time, not on neutral grounds with the joint relationship between fruits and mustards, so i thought i would take a sniff to see what the condiment smelled like. But this old man (who probably doesn’t have good vision anyway) just goes out of his way because he thought i took a bite or something out of the mustard. He questioned me about in a very rude, subjectified and explicit manner. He was like “Did you just f***ing eat that”…”Yes you did I saw it”… “You f’*** ing jerk.” Which idk about you but when an old man in a really large safari hat pops out of nowhere and accuses you of hazzarding the public with you mouth, i usually don’t know how to react. He just straightup thought i was a no-good-hoodlum-teenager who eats things that should not be eaten. It was an outrage and i felt so awkward and small. I know this story is pointless but it felt relevant to your’s and it completely bothers me that people cuss out people who are signifigantly younger then them, talk about being a descent human being. But as always, i presented him with a smile. After later thinking about it, i felt it would be more appropriate to give him a big “middle-finger” up and lick a ton of fucking apricot mustard from the spoon of the despencary countainer, right in front of him. But that sounded a little gross and the last thing I’d want to do is to prove to him that teenagers are filthy and unintelligent . Even though i might be a bad-ass-bitch fifteen year old from hell, i should still treat my elders with respect. And war and anger are not my cup of tea. Plus i’m clean, mature and intellegent and wouldn’t ever consider eating a condiment like that…….Proves ya wrong bitch
Thanks so much Kate! helpin’ my probs since day 1
You are such a stellar human being beyond anyone else <3