UK tour is over and over the past few days it’s really sunk in how amazing my fans are. how incredibly supportive and wonderful you guys are and how lucky I am to have you. I want to thank each of you so much for coming to the shows. For going Crazzzzy! For allowing me to grow and develop as an artist. My favourite thing is watching someone in the crowd dance and go nuts to like sister or fri-end? and then see you go nuts for mariella and paris. I know that you really get me and that feels so…for want of a better word….UHMAZING.
As you know I was dropped last year and I didn’t know the kind of difficulties I would face without a label. Without this cohesive machine that has all these cogs in motion. Right now I’m kind of building my own machine. It’s like not everything is quite glued together properly. But it is getting there. It’s just harder and there’s so much to doing this alone that it has been quite difficult you know? Anything you think has been forgotten or isn’t being done, it is, it’s just taking longer than usual.
I feel like this is a big label machine…
and this is my machine…
Johnny 5 is fucking cool though. Just look at that denim jacket and cowboy scarf.
So I’m still totally figuring it out and I’ve had some extremely stressful times on this tour, I’ve felt like I have so much to organise and get together and to prove. And it was sort of giving me anxiety attacks. I had a panic attack at my mum’s house when I went home for a day and I was like gahh!! But the last few days I soaked up the whole tour. And I realised that everything is going to be ok. Because of 2 things… 1. Because of “Just keep swimming”
It’s the best advice I ever fucking heard. Thank you Dori from finding nemo. Just keep swimming. I’ve had it in my head so much recently. I won’t back down. I won’t stop working and creating and touring and playing shows and keeping going. I’ve had so much shit thrown my way the past 2 years and I have got to points where I’m like “am i a broken human now? am i gonna have to give up soon? this is hard on my head, brain, emotions and body. help meeeee”. And then I get out of bed the next day and I fucking keep swimming. And I realised that’s the person I am and the person I wanna be.
The other reason 2. is YOU.
You lot are constantly there for me and it is amazing. I feel like I have such a strong connection with you guys and it strengthens after tours like this one. And I can’t explain it to journos or to industry people or whatever it’s just there and i don’t care if that sounds weird or cheesy. I don’t give a fuck. The other day at my show there was this cool looking chick and she was waving her arms up and down like crazy and I noticed as I looked a little closer that there was scars all down her arms. And I thought it was fucking cool how comfortable she was waving her arms around like that. She didn’t need to hide it because she felt really free in that crowd, it’s such a safe environment because you’re all so nice. It made me happy that she wasn’t self conscious. I just thought yeah, be yourself, be proud of who you are and don’t worry about people judging you here, we’re all here for the same reason. It was one of the most amazing feelings.
And that’s not to encourage self harm to anyone who doesn’t get what I’m saying. I’ve worked with self harming groups and it’s an issue very close to my heart that I take seriously. You got to try not take all the shit out on yourself. It’s hard and we all do it. I really wanna encourage anyone who self harms to stop hurting themselves because of all the shit you’re going through. I know it’s so hard to stop. But you don’t deserve it. You gotta try loving yourself. Any time you feel like you wanna do that you should have something else in mind that you can do instead. Call someone you love and trust. Rip up a pillow. Turn on Nirvana and jump and scream in your room. Read this blog. Go and buy something cheap and safe it would be seriously satisfying to smash up. Like a box of fucking doughnuts. I remember this time when I was 16 when i went through a bunch of shit and at first I would go out on my bike, I would go on these really long bike rides and do dangerous, stupid shit on my bike. And my mum got so worried when I would go out. So I tried to stop doing that and did things that would feel like little satisfying explosions that wouldn’t hurt me or anyone else. Sometimes the stupidest shit can help. There’s loads of stuff you can do to release that don’t have to hurt you. Make a list of them and each time you wanna hurt you, try out one of these things instead. Try and make it silly and stupid so that it can become fun instead of painful. Music can really help. And writing everything down. Exercising. And shouting and screaming. If your parents/roommates start worrying about you. Just tell them you started a band or are working on an experimental theatre piece and then scream your guts out. Make sure you’re getting enough of an emotional release each week. We should totally compile a list of random stupid shit it feels really good to do that doesn’t hurt and gives you a buzz. Ideas below. Maybe my next posts will be me doing them and rating them out of ten.
I hear a lot of your problems because you’re super open with me about this stuff and I am here for you big time, you can tell me this stuff, I really do care. And I just want you to have that mentality too…Just keep swimming. Don’t take out this shit on yourself. Just keep going and doing what you believe in and love yourself and it will get better one day. It really will. It might take fucking ages and you might feel alone and bullied and confused but you will feel sunshine in your belly sometimes that replaces that acidity nasty feeling and ya just have to keep on truckin for those moments and eventually there will be more of the sunshine moments than the acid-y ones.
Anyway I’ve rambled off track a bit. But this tour has brought up so many thoughts, having met so many of you. And I just want to thank you big time for your support. ALSO It’s not over yet, this year is a tough one & I really need you guys to have my back. So I’m going to ask you for things when I need you. I’m going to ask you to download the single when it comes out in the next week (OMG) (got a b-side with it too). I’m gonna ask you to come to shows and go nuts and stage invade, to come to festivals and wave your flag (literally gonna make you flags to wave), to tweet/text radio presenters to play my music, to keep being fucking awesome basically because I really need you. I watched a ted talk with amanda palmer recently about “the performer asking the fan” for things they need. And in times like this I really need ya. you’re my girl gang maaaaaan, boys you are too. And we got a long way to go so it feels pretty good knowing that the most loyal badass fans in the world have got my back. <3
Big massive love and big up to the TUTS! who came on tour with us. I love them so much. They are like the wonderbra of the support bands. And I can’t wait for their headline shows. gonna be insane!
Here are some dumb pictures of us bein dicks on the road. And if you haven’t been to a show yet. COME AND JOIN IN!! And note to anyone coming to shows ahead, underestimate the girl stage invasion – you are invitied. don’t be shy, be mischievous!!
Sam Duckworth and & Jay Malhotra came to dinner with us in Liverpool and we partied in Manchester for Jay’s Birthday
TUTS GO NUTS!
LADS
Things went as smooth as usual on BBC Breakfast
and finally I will leave you with the one, the only, the great LORD HAGOS… That’s one Badass muthafucka YO
30 Comments
:)))
Get Cape Wear Cape Fly was in town? Ahh I used to listen to him all the time. I had such a good time at your show Kate (loved The Tuts!), can’t wait to see what comes next 🙂
I met some really awesome people at your shows (the donut girls in Portsmouth) and through the poster mission, getting to meeting up with other girls and fly them. we want to make you a tea party. Not just for introducing us, or the kick-ass shows but for posts like this, for being there and being perfect role model every girl needs. P.S serious about the tea xxx.
I love you, Kate. I cried while reading your post. You’re a very important person and I’ll be here whenever you need me (us, your fans.) You’re not alone, never! I’ll see you tonight in Buenos Aires!. You were amazing on Saturday night. I’m still screaming in my head “Sister”, “Under-Estimate the Girl” and “Girl Gang”. And I’ll definitely stageinvade tonight, I promise I won’t be shy —maybe when I get down, but nevermind. I LOVE YOU! ♥
i sent you a really long DM but deleted it because i was embarrased lol but just wanted to say thank you for writing this, it means a lot and we all love you so much, you are such an inspiration and this blog makes me happy <3 xxxxxxxxxx
oh kate you are a beautiful person. you’re so amazing and powerful…you make me feel amazing and empowered. i’m gonna start a club at my school for girls to join because of all the shit we go through as teenage girls. it’s inspired by your girl gang and it makes me so happy the way you’ve changed me as a person. i’m a proud feminist with self-confidence because of you. your music and amazing words of wisdom have taught me that i can be myself and say, “fuck society” when the world is judging me; you taught me that i don’t deserve to be fucked with; you taught me to care about other people, particularly other girls. thank you so so very much for being who you are and helping me be who i am. i love you so so much and you DO NOT deserved to be fucked with. Ever. ♥♥♥
DONUTTTTTTTT GIRLSSSSSSS FOORRR LYFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i love you kate every single one of your blogs makes me cry ily kkkkk
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Oh Kate, I simply adore you! I truly admire you for following your heart and never giving up on making the music (and everything else) that you wanna do, regardless of everyone else’s expectations. Everything about you – your attitude, music and posts like this – inspires me to be stronger, authentic and fearless. And I’m not gonna lie, it feels pretty fucking awesome to know that you appreciate us so much. I’m really looking forward to your gig here in Brazil, I will most certainly go nuts <3
Aghhhh fucking loved every gig … Stage invasion just got wilder and wilder
Kateeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! You’re fucking awesome! I’m waiting for your show on São Paulo!!! It’ll be really insane.
You are amazing!!!
Love you xoxoxoxo <3
Artists need to go back to the roots, crowd supported artists
Love ^^
I don’t think you realize how much you help US! On a crazy shitty day, I play your music and feel grounded again. You help me to feel strong and it’s something I rely on…quite frequently. Can’t wait to see you Thursday! Thank you for all U do!
This post cheered me up so much. Kate you are the best, I totally agree with how great your fans are cause I came to three of the UK gigs alone and I was v nervous but I met so many lovely people and I came across one dick who swilled me with his drink at Liverpool but the good out weighs the bad. But thanks to the best month of April ever you are the best thank you xxxxx
Your fans will always be here supporting you, you want to make music until the end and we want to listen to your music until the end. You were dropped from your record label because of a difference in musical vision, clearly though they missed out with the success of Girl Talk.
The whole ‘Just keep swimming’ is so bang on the money it’s almost unreal. Whenever you read about successful people that is always the prevailing advise, keep going, keep improving, just keep swimming. A few people over the last 3 years have asked me how on earth I managed to write novels, I say, Just write a story and don’t stop writing, keep writing until you feel you’ve explored the entire storyline and you’ll be sitting on 80k to 100k word novel.
Harming yourself is never a good thing to do however it’s not just a physical harming, you can harm yourself far more by listening to the voice inside and losing your confidence. Confidence seems to be in short supply in so many people, and can lead to physical hurting and oppressing the people around you. The key thing here to remember is that not everyone around you is a dick, people are just people.
I can’t wait for your next move, keep it coming.
x
http://imgur.com/a/PXGmq#0 (I’m the guy)
Wow, I had tears in my eyes by the end of this post – happy tears, thankfully!
This tour was my first time seeing you play live, and it was genuinely one of the best gig experiences I’ve had. I was great to get to meet after you played in Newcastle – I was too shy to say much, but I did get to give you a letter I’d wrote you, and two badges I made (hope you liked them hehe).
I worried that maybe my letter was too personal. After reading this post, I’m not as worried though – you, and other fans I’ve talked to, all seem so supportive and open-minded.
I have struggled with self-harm myself, and it can be hard to find other ways of releasing those feelings, but you made some great suggestions. I have a few “go-to” things –
playlists – really happy positive songs, loud and angry songs, songs that remind me of things I love (like summer!). Everyone will have their own bands/artists they listen to, maybe it’d be cool if we could all share some playlists though? We could upload them onto 8tracks!
talk to people online – I find it hard to talk to people face to face when I feel bad, so I turn to the internet. Tumblr can be a great place for support, as can Twitter depending on who you follow. I’m painfully shy but love making friends, so if you don’t know anyone online to talk to, say hi 🙂
Bake or cook something (even better if it’s something you actually like :-p ) – sometimes the process of following a recipe and measuring stuff out can be a good, calming distraction. And if it all goes well, you have something nice at the end and everyone will think you’re great cos food, yay! And if it DOESN’T go well, you could just destroy it…
Get creative – Again, not everyone is a creative type (which is fine, of course!), this is just stuff that’s helped me – play an instrument, learn a song you love, write a song of your own – it might be shit, but maybe you could turn it into something better later on?
I’m also into photography, I find it really calming to just go for a walk with a camera. It’s nice to just stop and notice what’s around you and how things look.
Making a zine can be great fun too, plus if you finish it, you could sell or trade it 🙂
Make a collage!
Start up a blog, somewhere to vomit your thoughts and share them!
Te amamos Kate, We love you Kate, really.
I was in the show last monday in niceto, Buenos Aires. I think if I was a girl maybe I could be more near of you, up in the stage 😛
Now, Sister….. that song makes me fly….. so high! Im just been honest, is the best song i’ve heard this year, so powerful, so strong, so KATE!
Nice post, good pictures, you seem so fun. Bye! WE (the world) LOVE YOU!!!
PD: Im go crazy listening All talk right now!!!!!
Well Kate, i spent the most beautiful and amazing weekend with you and i just read this new blog. I cried.. you’re such a beautiful person inside and out, thank you for being so sweet with me all the time!! <3 te amo
@Katyciada :') x
Your blog is very emotional & heartfelt! I LOVED your show last night at the Troubadour!! You are such a beautiful girl & you left all of your feelings on the stage! You are a true inspiration, as an artist & as a person!! You have a lifelong fan in me!
Dear Kate,
here is an italian fan!! I can’t go to London on next June to see you playing live and I’m so sorry for this… I was wondering then if you are planning to do some dates in Italy as well, Milan would be perfect! I really like your music, your voice and your lovely accent!
Pleeeeease pleeeeease, come to Italy, we want you!!
Thank you, many hugs!
Vincenza
Kate… I can’t even describe to you how happy it makes me when I hear your new music! I’m really proud to say my first gig ever was yours. <3 Thank you so much for coming back even when it wasn't easy being dropped. I went and bought the deluxe album the week it came out – and I've got the poster hanging over my bed – girl fucking power! xx I'll be sure to listen to the new single over on spotify LOADS. 🙂
Kate, it’s hard to believe that I’ve been a big fan of yours for coming on eight years now, and yet only FINALLY got to see you live in Boston back in March. You’re an awesome live performer and a great songwriter! Thank you for staying with it and pursuing being you. Sorry for ripping your earliest demos off of myspace to play in the car way back then, but that’s how you got me hooked. In that Amanda Palmer TED talk, she mentions a fan she couch surfed with who sheepishly gave her some money for an album he’d once pirate downloaded: I kinda feel like that guy, so got Girl Talk on cd and vinyl to try and make up 🙂 Now I try and repay the favor by spreading the word and doing your songs at open mic and karaoke – as well as proudly sporting my Death Proof t-shirt as often as my laundry regimen permits.
Hopefully you can make it up to Maine next time you play the East Coast – you’ll find you’ve got quite the fan base up here!
Mike
Thanks for sharing this great post!! Looks like you have put some serious effort in creating this !
Dear Kate,
It’s obvious that you love your fans as much as we love you. I met you at your Chicago show in March and you were so incredibly gracious to me and the other fans. You’re right about us all being open with one another because I told you how I have OCD and that hearing you talk about OCD made me feel so much less alone. It was great to tell you that in person. I’m going to stop now before I start gushing like I did when I met you.
Omg you’re so cool and thank you for the advice! Love you so much you are amazing and so inspirational! I have a blog too called http://www.adaintyfawn.blogspot.co.uk.
Hehe I hope one day I meet you!!!
Really looking forward to your next post, can´t believe how caring about her fans an artist can be! See you in Slovakia next week.
More more more more more mooooooooooooooooooore <3
I love you so much!
I simply adore the way you look at life.
Your music made me realize that I don’t have to be self-concious even though i do not always meet up with the ridiculous standards the world has made up for people.
I can’t wait to see you play in Amsterdam and I will wave my crutches in the air while I’m dancing to Sister!
I’ve been a big fan for years! Love your music and your style. Girlgang!
I just want you to know how much I love you. Your latest album really was exactly what I needed and it got me through hard times from mild things like finals and now my uncle’s cancer. I don’t know what I’d do without your music, honestly. I find it all so beautiful. All of it. You have a song for every mood, every temper tantrum. Every time when you feel like everything is surrounding you on all sides and you’re trapped- there’s Kate Nash, being perfect. And it’s the imperfect perfection that helps the most. So thank you. I love you.
Swimming, I may try that.
I am doing light calisthenics surrounded by women.