I got into a twitter fight the other day which was so dumb of me, I have to remember not to bite to that shit online! Gah! But it is so annoying sometimes and I forget and get reeled in. I feel like sometimes people are just looking for an argument. It was about “I’m a feminist, you’re still a whore”. Some guy wrote a blog about it and some girls were like “I’m so disappointed, what a shit feminist”.
It upset me and made me worry that there are people out there who are interested in feminism but don’t want to label themselves as one because they feel like they don’t qualify. Feminism is not a club, it’s not something you have to audition for or get an A* in. It’s something really super cool and awesome. For me it’s about battling sexism, encouraging and supporting girls and women and fighting for equality. There are loads of different types of feminists. You can be any race/religion/age/sex. You can be straight/gay/bisexual. You can have a big hairy bush from the 70s or a vajazzle and a bald fanny. You can be a housewife, a stripper, a virgin or a prostitute, you can like lipstick, books, you can be a riot grrrl fan or a jazz flute player. You don’t have to be anything but yourself.
I think it’s so important for feminists to have a sense of humour!! there is so much bullshit in this world and sometimes the only way you can get through it is to laugh. When my friend died last year, sometimes all her husband and I could do was make inappropriate jokes to freak people out because it would make us laugh and we knew it would have made her laugh. My mum works in a hospice and has been a nurse for over 40 years, I learnt about having a sense of humour even when it comes to serious things from a young age.
‘I’m a feminist you’re still a whore’ is a brilliant song title in my opinion, it’s provocative, it’s “wrong”, it’s what you’re not supposed to think as a feminist, but the truth is human beings can’t always control how they feel. It’s like if someone close to me, that I loved or thought was a friend, fucks me over sexually/emotionally the first thing that comes to my mind is not sweet and fair. It is ugly.
Human passion and emotion drives me insane. The way you feel sometimes can be so ugly, it’s not “right” and it’s not the person you want to be. I’ve plotted death, revenge and suicide all in one day. I’ve smashed my phone in anger, I’ve wanted to burn my house down. I’ve wanted to scratch my eyes out, be numb and locked up. I’ve wanted to get rid of the cockroach running around my brain, to run away and disappear. And I wanna put all that ugly, painful truth into my music. I am very lucky to have songwriting and music in my life. As it helps me release the ugly without hurting someone physically. And this is why I always encourage everyone to try it, or to do something creatively to help you deal with shit. I’ll outright call you a liar and repressed if you said you never had a bad thought or disliked someone. Life can be painful and gross and you have to learn to ride that shit out and get over it. You can write about it, turn it into humour/poetry/something empowering. Music can help you deal with the shit life throws at you.
Also you gotta take life with a pinch of salt. I worry about people that are reading every book and learning every rule and writing blogs about what everyone else is doing wrong. I hope that they’re doing something actively to make things better in this world as well as moaning. And I got so pissed when someone called me a shit feminist just because I’m being honest about my and most people’s imperfections. It’s like fuck you dude, I’m not looking to join a club. I love girls and women and I do whatever I can do daily to try and change things for them and I am a fucking feminist because I decide it. From visiting girls in Africa working with Plan USA & raising money for protectagirl.org , to meeting girls after shows and listening to them, to employing women on the road, to starting after-school clubs for girls, to constantly seeking out female talent and trying to support it and spread awareness of it, to being a good friend and a good listener and wanting to help and appreciate girls as much as I can and to loving women and girls so much, it’s basically all I think about. I stand up for girls. I encourage them to make choices from a place of empowerment and comfort.
I’m always going to try and be honest and funny when I’m writing and sometimes that will prove to be too much for people. And I encourage people to challenge things, I don’t mind if some people don’t like me or my songs if they find it offensive. I do understand that. Honesty isn’t always easy to swallow. I just don’t like the idea of people putting other people off feminism and it getting a bad name because it’s this exclusive thing that you have to fit into and that you can never have a sense of humour with. You can analyse and nit pick everything but I don’t believe in going around judging what kind of feminists people are. I’d rather work towards equality not exclusivity.
In the song I address not wanting to feel, wanting to switch off, wanting to be filled with hate, wanting to seek revenge. But I can’t waste my time doing that. It resolves with having to feel, I have to feel the pain, I have to deal with it and I have to focus on myself and my life rather than someone else and how they’ve treated me like shit or fucked me over, I can’t focus on that forever. I can let it fuel me instead and make me productive.
26 Comments
I love this!!! I hate when people take artist’s songs and are so selfish to think they wrote a song and they have to be politically correct for the fans! When I listen to you and artist like Taylor swift I feel your feelings and I listen to your stories! I’m lucky that you let me into your life for 3 minutes! I get to connect with you in a way that I wouldn’t be able to if you didn’t put your art out! Keep doing what you’re doing! Remember haters gonna hate potatoes gonna potate! That made no sense but I love, you’re great! I love “I’m a feminist and you’re still a whore” it’s my favorite by you! I think every album of yours has a personal song that just shows you completely stripped down and raw! Made of bricks: nicest thing, my best friend is you: I hate seagulls, girl talk: I’m a feminist and you’re still a whore. Keep making music because you inspire me in so many ways! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ oh yeah when you see fidlar in LA tell then they are the shit too! Okay bye Kate have a lovely day!!!! Only happy thoughts!
Kate you are such an inspiration! Your honesty is so refreshing and empowering. You speak the truth and sometimes people can’t handle that. Thanks for always being so sincere and fearless! Love you!
I’m so glad you addressed this situation. I’m sick of feminists sitting around doing nothing for feminism but to criticise EVERY other feminist for every single little thing they do, especially when the people they’re criticising have probably done more for women in this world than they ever have! It’s frustrating because if everyone banded together over their common goals instead of nitpicking at each other the whole movement would be about a million times more successful than it is right now.
I love this. I’m reluctant sometimes to even acknowledge I’m a feminist to others, as there’s a complete stigma attached to it and some people can’t help but judge, and that’s not necessarily their fault! Feminism itself has a kind of sexism surrounding it, in that it’s seen as only hippy women, or students, or lesbians or whatever else. when in fact, as you have said, everyone, male and female, can and should be a feminist and there should be no stereotypes or limitations. It’s about celebrating individuality, and as individuals none of us are perfect.. but that what makes us equal 🙂 Keep inspiring, Kate!x
Kate, Grrrl. You are. Fierce. It’s amazing how when you’re saying something so passionate you can still be diplomatic. Love ya and miss ya xxx
I’m the author of the blog post in question, and just fyi people, I’m a girl, not a guy.
I think this is quite an unfair re-interpretayion of what happened; for instance, I was very very polite and sisterly in my original blog post. Also, yes, I do a whole bunch of positive stuff to make the world a better place, thanks. Here’s the original post – http://glasgowsexworker.wordpress.com/2013/04/15/dear-kate-nash/ – it would be great if you’d let this comment through, so people can see both sides, but *skeptical face*
So…. Your logic is “it’s provocative”? And now you’re annoyed that your “provocative” song has, in fact, provoked people???
People who the patriarchy you’re always complaining about say are worthless, without agency and barely-human. People who work dangerous jobs for a thousand different reasons and who are not, in fact, pop stars who have this kind of platform to argue back?
WOW. It must feel great to call those people names. To use their jobs and identities as insults. Go fucking team.
GREAT JOB ON THE FEMINISTING.
i totally get the sentiments you express in the song, but don’t you think that it’s possible to express them without turning to words which have traditionally been used to oppress people, especially women and trans people? like, ‘i’m a feminist but you still suck’ gets the same idea across without doing the very unsisterly thing of oppressing people, surely?
Just wanted to add a wee comment to say that I know the person who wrote the original blog and she is BRILLIANT and does possibly more than anyone I know to make women’s lives better, so any insinuation
You’re right, feminism is about making women’s lives better – and that *includes* women who sell sex. Whore is a negative word used to describe those women, and it’s not possible to use a word as if it were a meaningless signifier removed from any kind of cultural context. You said here that writing allows you to express all the crap stuff you might be feeling and not hurt anyone physically. That’s really important, and everyone needs to find a way of doing that, But if those songs are then released so that lots of other people can here them, then those words do have a chance of hurting people emotionally, which is a pretty serious thing to take into account.
Kate, it’s a real shame that you haven’t really tried to engage with the criticism. Your response could be summed up as “I don’t think people should criticise me because I have done some nice things for women.”
That’s great, and please keep doing nice things for women. We applaud you (as Molly made clear in her original blog post about the issue). We would like you to do one more nice thing for women– namely, to stop using language that reinforces slut-shaming and sex worker-shaming. The words and concepts that we use (and especially the words and concepts that famous people use) not only reflect the world we have, but also go back into shaping it. “I’m a feminist and you’re still a whore” as a song title means a whole load of people get affirmation that it’s okay to shame people for being sexual, and that being called a sex worker is a good way of insulting and shaming those people. It’s not okay and it’s not fair. You do lots of great things for women, so it really doesn’t seem like a big jump for you to think about this song and it’s title and whether it’s doing good or bad things for the world.
Hi Kate
First of all, I’m glad you’ve actually addressed this issue – too many people take the block-the-critics-and-ignore-the-subject approach.
I think the problem with these situations on Twitter is that, from what I saw, most people tweeting you were being polite and genuine – however, when you’re getting a lot of tweets, it tends to be the ruder ones that are the loudest, even when they are a minority.
In most cases, people aren’t “calling out” just to pick a fight. Historically, feminism hasn’t been inclusive of ALL women (all races, all social backgrounds, all gender etc) and it’s largely about pointing out when these outdated views are still dominant. Basically, feminism is about supporting and fighting for the rights of women – if you’re ignoring a particular group of women, for whatever reason, it’s something worth thinking about.
The original blog post was actually really respectful and supportive – I think it was clear they didn’t think you were intentionally shaming sex workers, but just wanted to explain the impact the word “whore” can have. For some, it’s just a harsh insult, for others it’s a word that has been used against them day after day by those who judge them.
I think I understand what this song personally means to you, and I genuinely don’t believe that you are trying to offend, or even have a problem with, sex workers. I do think this is a conversation worth having though – if only with the girl behind that original post, or with other sex workers. It’s through being able to discuss things civilly and openly that we can learn from each other and, hopefully, support each other.
So yeah, like I said, I’m glad you’ve addressed this and I think you do care about supporting and helping other women, and the work you’ve been doing is great. I hope you’ll keep this discussion open, as it’s definitely one worth having.
Kate, at the end of the day, a sex worker offered her experiences to you in order to help you understand why something you’ve sung is hurtful to her on a personal level, and problematic on a large scale level. She didn’t discuss it out of malice, I mean, she attended one of your bloody shows! It was clearly because she is a fan and she was hurt and it takes a lot of guts to directly address the person that has hurt you. It’s not easy for someone in her position to offer this and you’ve basically disregarded the whole thing. It wasn’t some “petty Twitter fight”, this was somebody trying to help you and doing so by offering personal experiences which is hard. Part of liberating women is listening to women with different experiences to you and altering your language if it alienates/shames other women and apologising if you’ve failed to do so. Feminism is a process and I agree that it should welcome all people, but part of that involves the above.
I read the blog the day it was published and it was evidently a polite offer of knowledge from someone in a position to give it (as the author is a sex worker), not an attack on Kate or her music, simply someone calling out another person in a position of privilege.
I’m also a huge fan of Kate’s. She introduced me to feminism and a lot of my beliefs are founded on the messages she’s spread with her music of from her platform. However, this issue is being taken too lightly. It’s not just people with no sense of humour trying to pick on Kate or say she’s not a feminist , there are fans as well who see the word ‘whore’ being used in a way it really shouldn’t be, not by someone who is in a position of privilege.
Now, I’m not a sex worker myself, so I can’t speak for them but it’s clear that a word commonly used to demean them used in such a casual, public way would offend them so the reaction there’s been can’t come as a surprise.
The best thing to do, rather than explain the song, would be to say sorry! Those who are offended probably don’t want to know what the song’s about, they just (at the least) want an apology from someone who many of them probably admire.
So please, for the sake of your fans, for those you’ve offended and for yourself just say sorry.
For the past few years ive worked with a girl with autism who doesn’t use a lot of verbal communication, the few times she does talk she asks for ‘kate nash on the phone” and ‘the one with the girl’ (mariella) . To this young woman kate is her whole world and she doesn’t smile as much to anything else. Its kind of ironic as well that that song talks about a girl who is constantly being told to change by others. That song has always reminded me of someone with autism, I dont know if that was intentional or not but either way it sends out an important message of acceptance.
Anyway the fact is Kate inspires so many people in lots of different ways, ive listened to kate since the beginning and her songs are quirky and use humour, that is her style, if she didn’t we wouldn’t all remember her songs. You may or may not agree with the title of that song, everyone is entitled to their opinion but attacking kate based on one song when she has created so many more is unfair. There are many celebrities out there that don’t do anything for anyone but kate is not one of them.
Keep inspiring Kate we all love you 🙂
Hi Kate,
I want to start by saying that I, too, am glad that you’ve at least tried to engage with this (very respectful) criticism instead of jus ignoring it. Good for you. I really mean that, engaging is absolutely the right attitude.
However:
I think you may have misunderstood the precise nature of the criticism. Nobody is disappointed because the title of your song is “provocative”, but because it is offensive. It used a term that is used daily, globally, to attack & repress people (mostly women). If you had used it in a way which was unusual or challenging or reclamatory, I don’t think you’d be getting this reaction; sadly, the way it was used was pretty much the way it’s always used, namely to slut-shame. This is not helping girls in any way, in fact it is arguably harmful to girls, because it provides justification for bullies.
The important thing that you seem to have missed here is the underlying balance of power. I think you may be seeing yourself as a bold-convention-defying truth-teller. The underdog of the anecdote, if you will. In fact, you are the successful person with the huge platform, which puts you in a position of far greater power than the blogger in question. Unfortunately, you used your power to hurt, not heal.
Feminism isn’t a tick-box list. You don’t get a free pass in behaving oppressively because you also did other good things. Feminism is, or should be, a holistic outlook informed by a commitment to social justice. Please don’t undo your good work elsewhere by insisting that those calling you out for this slip-up either don’t understand Art (they almost certainly do) or should overlook your faux pas because of you other Good Works (it doesn’t work like that). If you are a feminist, please put your money where your mouth is, apologise and listen to your critics. I assure you, your feminism will be better fo it
I have absolutely no idea who you are and I don’t care to learn but this
“I just don’t like the idea of people putting other people off feminism and it getting a bad name”
was stupid. The qualifier you added to it made it even worse. Feminism has a bad rap (particularly among women in sex work) because feminists don’t take their concerns seriously substituting what they feel the issue is completely disregarding the voices of these men and women.
You do something similar here but taking a measured response and insisting the issue is PC culture and censoring artists.
The issue here isn’t being pissed off – as an angry feminist I’m pissed off all the time! The issue is the word ‘whore’ as a negative. You say that sex workers can, ofc, be feminists, but using language like that excludes them from your music, which you want to be feminist. ‘Whore’ as an insult is also massively gendered, an insult that many women but few men will ever be called.
Like, there are loads of great insults that aren’t massively gendered as well – my personal favourite is ‘wankstain’, but you can get creative with these things. After all, you’re an artist.
Hi Kate,
I was one of the people who addressed you on Twitter about this and in the conversation I was in there was no ‘fight’. It was measured and calm and we were asking questions not trying to attack. You became quite agitated, justified your choice of words with Patti Smith’s highly dodgy ‘ Rock and Roll N-word’ and then deleted all your tweets.
You were conversing with one current sex worker, one ex sex worker and a gay man. Each of us has been called a whore to wound, insult and keep us inferior. Personally I’ve no interest in reclaiming a word screamed at me by a man who was raping me at the time, but here’s the thing: you don’t get to reclaim words that aren’t directed at you. This applies any time. As a white straight girl I can’t reclaim ‘ queer’ or ‘crip’ or ‘n-word’. And if anyone feels left out from the party of reclaiming oppression, then I suggest they take a long hard look at themselves.
I am a feminist. Being a sex worker and treated badly because of it made me a feminist. Being promiscuous made me a feminist. I’m furious to be told that I’m essentially damaged goods who must be kept away from the nice girls in case I corrupt them or make life difficult by raising awkward questions. I’ve worked hard not to feel ashamed of my path in life. Didn’t think I’d be reminded by a feminist I admired …..
There’s no need for sceptical faces, it’s a discussion that is of course open, it would be ignorant of me not to leave it open or not to anticipate people being offended by the title. I chose to put the words feminist and whore next to each other, i think it’s obvious I’m aware what that incites purely based on the title. I know what it means to use the word and I’ve explained above why I did so.
For me personally words are fluid, they take on different meanings and I use them to make a lot of different points. Art is not always literal.
Like I said above it’s to portray an ugly truth and a personal story. But I fully accept that this may come off in ways it’s not meant to and that’s a risk I chose to take and often choose to take with my music and lyrics. The use of political language is never black and white. I’m happy for people to discuss it and to have opinions and to disagree with me. Having an opinion is something I encourage everyone to do.
While I understand that the song reflects a personal story for you, I think it’s important that you examine the story in the context of society and question WHY “whore” is a pejorative. The answer to that question, which many people have already given, is that it’s part of a long, oppressive trend that has become ingrained in many women’s minds — that it’s okay to shame someone because of their personal choices about their body. Even used in anger, these words still have a background.
The other day I was sitting with a group of friends who were discussing a person they weren’t too fond of. One friend quipped, “He is such a dick!” Another laughed then added, “He’s not even good enough to be a dick, he’s just a bitch.”
Although these words were used nonchalantly and in frustration for this person’s actions, they’re still loaded with meaning. Why is “dick” better than “bitch”? Is it because “dick” is inherently male and males are seen as inherently better? Personally, I would rather be a female dog than a dangly piece of genitalia any day. “Whore”, just like “dick” and “bitch”, has a history behind it, and your using it so loosely as an insult shows a lot about our society. In making the original post, the author was simply trying to provide that history for you.
And yes, people of all genders can be called a “whore”, but it started as specifically female. Essentially, when you call someone a whore, you are reducing them to what society views as the worst possible state of human: Female; but this time with an added layer of slut shame.
Bitch, pussy, whore, cunt — all very insulting and all very female. I don’t blame you for using “whore” because these loaded insults are so deeply embedded in everyone’s minds, but I do think you should take the time to understand the backstories. Yes, they can be used to insult people of all genders, but their history is female, female, female.
And! Apologies to those that the title offends as that is not the intention. I actually feel really good about this dialogue, think it’s super healthy.
Before I begin, I’m not speaking upon the entire male or female gender only what I’ve seen or experienced type casting across 100% is completely incorrect and the word “some” or “you know who they are” should be applied if I mention a group.
Having read the two articles and several back and forth along with comments I feel personally I can add no more to the dialogue of the back and forth between the title of this song however there was something said I would like to expand on.
“Essentially, when you call someone a whore, you are reducing them to what society views as the worst possible state of human: Female; but this time with an added layer of slut shame.” by LAURA
Firstly I’m just going to go into the society standpoint. Words only have as much meaning as one gives to them, a word is not a thing of power except to those that give it power. You’ll never see an English word be thrown to a non-English speaker for example and them getting offended. So the word Whore like many things in society I feel needs to change completely along with Slut. You never hear Slut said to a guy in a negative way, which is completely incorrect from an equality standpoint. These words if they are to be used to suppress should equally do so across everybody and likewise be a compliment equally if changed to do so.
I’m going to focus on this part for now the: “the worst possible state of human: Female; but this time with an added layer of slut shame.” Now this is such a great line. However I think it’s being slowly phased out of the males that used to think this even in the back of their mind and slowly being less about it being the worst state of human and being the one that society deems it to be more responsible with the act of sex. With this in mind, then saying they are not responsible is just an insult on their values and the way they chose to live their lives. This last line would be fine provided the same ideal set were applied to men of whom it isn’t currently (obviously this depends on whether you’re pro or con sex workers)
“This is not helping girls in any way, in fact it is arguably harmful to girls, because it provides justification for bullies.” by NANAYA
She was on about the way in which the word Whore was used as a note.
Although this may be true there are two ways to my knowledge that words lose their place in society. The first is the reclaiming of the word such as the N-Word, I’m not going into this considering it’s irrelevant however the word gains power in the hands of the party reclaiming. The second is the word loosing it’s power it’s pure meaning, such as Bastard or Shit. Now these words fifty years ago would have been taken much less lightly than even in the nineties. However through the progression of those being used so much by so many the power has significantly gone down (with other factors but I’m skimming).
Now you talk about providing justification for bullies, the only way that the word will not provide justification for people is by it losing it’s place in society. Either through removing the power making the word meaningless or reclaiming it back (or if you know of other ways please share)
The first which is a little less positive for language and the entire issue would technically mean that Women who consider offence of the word Whore can use it as they please.
The second would make it ultimately meaningless, so that even if said by a bully or anyone it would have no more power than the party that gives it power. If you don’t want to be offended by it ever again, then never again will you need to be *1.
*1 – I know this is a little meaningless to add but I had this issue with the word Gay being thrown around and at me along with Wuss and Girl. These words mean nothing when thrown at me now because I no longer fuel them in my mind. They are wasting their breathe with all insults, maybe that growing up and just not giving a damn about what other people call me, maybe it’s that I’m the only one in charge of my life hence accepting control from other people seems dumb. Just so this makes sense I’m a straight 21 year old Male.
If you happened to have read all of that, of which I thank you for considering I don’t do a great job of articulating what I want to say. Also note I’ll be the first to say I’m wrong if presented with a meaningful argument.
Calm down lads, it might never happen! X
My God, THANK YOU KATE!
I’m so extremely thankfull to have your music in my life, to read these things about being yourself and about trying to find the courage to be who ever you want to be.
In my life, I have felt very lonely because whenever I started about sexism and the way I felt or whenever I heard guys talking about girls as like they where objects, walking boobs or just holes to put their penis in, I got so angry.
Unfortunately nobody onderstood what I was feeling, I actually want to rip peoples head of sometimes because they’re being so fucking ignorant.
It’s really helpfull to read, to hear and to feel how you deal with these kind of things.
Sexism is still a huge part of my life and I feel very supported whenever I read your blogs.
So thanks Kate, Thank you so much.
Kate,
. You are one of my largest role models because of what you believe in and what you stand for. I am a senior in high school and you have influenced some of my friends and I to start a feminism club at our school to encourage and empower girls at our school and in our environment. I was wondering if you have any advice and words of wisdom to help us have as much success helping young women as possible. Thank you,
Ellen Smith
Male, female, black, white, gay, straight a cunt is still a cunt.
It is spelt R E S P E C T.
Shit it didn’t even ask me my password, anyone could steal my identity and comment, can you fix that on your blog settings please