I got into a twitter fight the other day which was so dumb of me, I have to remember not to bite to that shit online! Gah! But it is so annoying sometimes and I forget and get reeled in. I feel like sometimes people are just looking for an argument. It was about “I’m a feminist, you’re still a whore”. Some guy wrote a blog about it and some girls were like “I’m so disappointed, what a shit feminist”.
It upset me and made me worry that there are people out there who are interested in feminism but don’t want to label themselves as one because they feel like they don’t qualify. Feminism is not a club, it’s not something you have to audition for or get an A* in. It’s something really super cool and awesome. For me it’s about battling sexism, encouraging and supporting girls and women and fighting for equality. There are loads of different types of feminists. You can be any race/religion/age/sex. You can be straight/gay/bisexual. You can have a big hairy bush from the 70s or a vajazzle and a bald fanny. You can be a housewife, a stripper, a virgin or a prostitute, you can like lipstick, books, you can be a riot grrrl fan or a jazz flute player. You don’t have to be anything but yourself.
I think it’s so important for feminists to have a sense of humour!! there is so much bullshit in this world and sometimes the only way you can get through it is to laugh. When my friend died last year, sometimes all her husband and I could do was make inappropriate jokes to freak people out because it would make us laugh and we knew it would have made her laugh. My mum works in a hospice and has been a nurse for over 40 years, I learnt about having a sense of humour even when it comes to serious things from a young age.
‘I’m a feminist you’re still a whore’ is a brilliant song title in my opinion, it’s provocative, it’s “wrong”, it’s what you’re not supposed to think as a feminist, but the truth is human beings can’t always control how they feel. It’s like if someone close to me, that I loved or thought was a friend, fucks me over sexually/emotionally the first thing that comes to my mind is not sweet and fair. It is ugly.
Human passion and emotion drives me insane. The way you feel sometimes can be so ugly, it’s not “right” and it’s not the person you want to be. I’ve plotted death, revenge and suicide all in one day. I’ve smashed my phone in anger, I’ve wanted to burn my house down. I’ve wanted to scratch my eyes out, be numb and locked up. I’ve wanted to get rid of the cockroach running around my brain, to run away and disappear. And I wanna put all that ugly, painful truth into my music. I am very lucky to have songwriting and music in my life. As it helps me release the ugly without hurting someone physically. And this is why I always encourage everyone to try it, or to do something creatively to help you deal with shit. I’ll outright call you a liar and repressed if you said you never had a bad thought or disliked someone. Life can be painful and gross and you have to learn to ride that shit out and get over it. You can write about it, turn it into humour/poetry/something empowering. Music can help you deal with the shit life throws at you.
Also you gotta take life with a pinch of salt. I worry about people that are reading every book and learning every rule and writing blogs about what everyone else is doing wrong. I hope that they’re doing something actively to make things better in this world as well as moaning. And I got so pissed when someone called me a shit feminist just because I’m being honest about my and most people’s imperfections. It’s like fuck you dude, I’m not looking to join a club. I love girls and women and I do whatever I can do daily to try and change things for them and I am a fucking feminist because I decide it. From visiting girls in Africa working with Plan USA & raising money for protectagirl.org , to meeting girls after shows and listening to them, to employing women on the road, to starting after-school clubs for girls, to constantly seeking out female talent and trying to support it and spread awareness of it, to being a good friend and a good listener and wanting to help and appreciate girls as much as I can and to loving women and girls so much, it’s basically all I think about. I stand up for girls. I encourage them to make choices from a place of empowerment and comfort.
I’m always going to try and be honest and funny when I’m writing and sometimes that will prove to be too much for people. And I encourage people to challenge things, I don’t mind if some people don’t like me or my songs if they find it offensive. I do understand that. Honesty isn’t always easy to swallow. I just don’t like the idea of people putting other people off feminism and it getting a bad name because it’s this exclusive thing that you have to fit into and that you can never have a sense of humour with. You can analyse and nit pick everything but I don’t believe in going around judging what kind of feminists people are. I’d rather work towards equality not exclusivity.
In the song I address not wanting to feel, wanting to switch off, wanting to be filled with hate, wanting to seek revenge. But I can’t waste my time doing that. It resolves with having to feel, I have to feel the pain, I have to deal with it and I have to focus on myself and my life rather than someone else and how they’ve treated me like shit or fucked me over, I can’t focus on that forever. I can let it fuel me instead and make me productive.