I watched the pilot and first episode of breaking bad yesterday. If you’ve seen it, you know the part where he’s in school teaching chemistry but he can’t stop thinking about the murder and the dead/dying bodies left in the mobile home meth lab, some student asks him about what’s gonna be on the test they’re studying for and he just can’t focus. It was weird, it made me think about how I don’t think I ever thought about the emotional problems of a teacher at school. I remember a teacher that my best friend and I used to really wind up, we were really quite fond of him, we liked the guy but we knew how to push his buttons, it was a kind of banter that he enjoyed too but then sometimes being annoying girly teenagers sometimes we would take it a little too far and end up in detention. He ended up telling us about his divorce a little bit, he kind of joked about it and I remember wondering what his house looked like, I tried to picture him alone in his house and I felt sad. I have no idea what happened to him.
Becoming an adult you get to certain realisations at different stages in your life. It happens all the time, like little bits of enlightenment. I remember when I first saw my parents as real human beings, like not just ‘parents’, a label that carries this responsibility that you’re a person who just knows how to handle everything that happens and you don’t have your own life and emotional problems. Having had more life experience now than when I was a teenwolf I can think of how insane it must be to be bringing up kids and having your own life and experiences. When you feel fucked up or heartbroken or stressed or pissed off, disappointed, if work is tough, if relationships are tough, if someone you know has died or is dying, if you have an illness or a private problem and there’s someone who loves you very much and totally relies on you for pretty much everything but doesn’t consider any of those things as possible stresses in your life, how must that feel?
And then those little people turn into mid sized people and start slamming doors in your face and playing music really loud, fighting with you about everything and pushing you really far away. As a teenager you’re trying to carve out your own life, have your own experiences, take control so you own things and create an identity. So no wonder you push parents away. I’ve really been wondering how that feels though. Hopefully it ends up ok and you turn into a bigger person and start thinking about this stuff and realising your parents are real people; you give them more of a chance and can therefore understand and love them better.
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I really love reading yr blogs + think you are on of the best songwriters from the uk in a long time! Im writing a music themed novel + looking for input regarding a question, from musicians! Please email me or tweet if you can help? So far I have only got nerina pallot x
When I read this…I cried. Thanks.
wow, really thought-provoking… you’re so awesome 🙂
My parents and I made lots of quarrel and I always felt very bad about it. It all ended up in a depression and I remember we were sitting by the psychologist. I saw my mother crying and even my dad’s voice was full of care and questions and worries about ME, he sounded scared… From that moment, I started talking with them, everyday again about me. And so they shared their troubles too. Our relation is really strong and I couldn’t wish better parents. They are the best I ever could wish. The most beautiful thing about it, is the undescribable feeling they gave me when they said to me it’s okay to be lesbian. I think that’s a really important reason to be happy. It’s sad to hear my friend talking to me and saying her parents do not accept it. I wish they do, she is so cool and sweet
I sent this link to my own parents. Kate Nash, changing the world one blog post at a time. 🙂
When do we realise we’re not the center of the universe and why is it some people never ever will?
I wish we as humans would begin to consider others a little sooner and a little more often. It’s time for Kindness to be “Cool”
That is very wise and considerate of you to say. Sometimes we just have to put ourselves in other’s shoes before giving people a tough time, because we have no idea what they’ve been through.
You’re pretty cool.
Love from Dominican Republic! <3
My mum is awful